Oh, good lord, am I stupid.

Anyone who has read this blog knows aoubt my boy situation. Off on, off on, what ARE my feelings for this boy? I've had the tape made for him for over a month...the day before we got off of break I wrapped it in a picture from National Geographic. It was a closeup of many fish fins. On the back side of the picture that I wrapped it in, there was a small picture of 3 turtles mating. It had some text. I didn't read it. In the available spaces I wrote about how our friendship had seemingly faded. How I've been in, at least, "like" with him for months. How I knew we wouldn't happen. How I was sorry for putting on that one song, it was too serious for starters. The next day I passed it into his hands. Then, after telling him not to rip the paper at all, I walked away.

I hope that the magic 8-ball was right when it said that I should give him the tape, that he'd be happy to hear the news. He hasn't opened it yet. He said he was waiting until christmas. I told him to open it today. I know that when he gets home, he will open it, he will look at it, he will read it, and maybe he will put the tape in. Maybe tommorow he will come up to me and tell me that he's sorry for waiting so long. If only he'd known! If only he'd known...

There are so many things I should put on my list of all that I've done wrong.