My calf is making me want to kill myself and I feel like all my running dreams are dead. This morning my mom told me that I might not be able to do cross country this season but I WILL. AND I WILL SUCCEED LIKE MAD IN TRACK THIS SPRING. I WILL. I WILL. I WILL.

But I suppose if the sports therapist says differently tomorrow morning all that could change. Cross your fucking fingers for me! I don't know if I've ever been so scared for a doctor's appointment.

I'm going to go ride a stationary bike at the gym. My headphones are broken. Why am I alive?