All of the sudden, in the past two or three days, I'm just not feeling it for Steven. It's like I woke up one day and thought "you know, I really don't feel like doing this anymore. I don't really feel like having this massive crush, like being in this fucked up, wierd relationship." I don't know what's happened. I just know that I don't know if I want to be in this relationship anymore.

And I've been thinking that maybe I'm in this for the kicks. You know, the fact that he's really hot. I mean, what the fuck am I doing with a guy who's smart, but fails all but one of his classes? What the fuck am I doing with a guy who isn't interested in socializing or meeting any of my friends? What am I doing with a guy that all my friends hate? What am I doing with a guy that I hate kissing? What am I doing with a guy that, when we're together, I can't listen to music with because he hates it? And you know, I hate a lot of the things he does. I hate the fact that he's really, really gropey. Always. He's like "Oh em gee boobies!" and "Hey can I stick my hand between your legs?" And he's always got a boner. Do you know how obnoxious and annoying that is? I've never been with him when he hasn't had one. I know it's natural and all, and I know he can't really help it and blah blah blah, but JESUS FUCK IT GETS ANNOYING. And it's so big, too. And I hate how he's getting all clingy and wierd, now, to top it all off. I hate how he kisses. I hate how we don't really have many intelligent conversations. I feel like the only way we click is physically, and that only when we're not kissing. And all he wants to do is make out. The list goes on and on...

What the fuck happened? All the sudden he just grosses me out. All the sudden he's just really annoying. It's like anything positive I feel in this relationship at this moment is forced.
Maybe things will be different when I see him on Monday. Maybe not...

FUCK!