i want to know what happened. he used to talk to me, and seem interested in talking to me. but now when we talk, it is quick and blank, and goes nowhere, and then he turns to the girl that i know he wants. i don't think i like him anymore, but i miss him. he was fun and a friend, even if it was for a short time, and i don't like growing apart from people, i don't like leaving them behind.
today it snowed and although i was hanging out with people maybe two-thirds of the time, it wasn't all to great. after school there were all the people who were friends, throwing snowballs at each other and laughing and smiling and they wern't alone. and then there was me, shuffling my feet through the snow, head down, alone and lonely, wishing you were there, wishing someone i cared about was there, so that i wouldn't feel so shitty.
i wish i could've stayed in france. i would've learned the language and become fluent, and i could've been friends with people. although many of them didn't seem very interesting. but i wish i was someplace else. i wish i was somewhere where i couldn't get attached. i hate myself for being so, i don't know, attached easily.
i wish i wasn't so fussy about who i met. i could fit in just fine with the big, loud, groups of people. but i don't want to, because they're big and loud and wouldn't care anyway. they like shitty music and read shitty magazines and don't talk about anything interesting. and i'm not into that. i wish that there were more people i could relate to.
i know i sound like every other stupid teenager in the world, but i think that even non-teenagers can be like this. even when i was little i felt isolated. i don't know why. back then i was really genaric, i liked shitty music and read shitty magazines and didn't talk about anything interesting. and i know that when i get older i'll feel isolated, because i'm stupid and fussy.
maybe one day i'll meet someone, and we could be friends. it goes back to that entry in april or so, when i talked about waking up, and both of us were lonely, but one day we would meet and it would be perfect. we would see each other and say "there's my missing piece. we will be deeper than love, deeper than friendship. we will be trust."
and then we would fall into each others hearts.
today it snowed and although i was hanging out with people maybe two-thirds of the time, it wasn't all to great. after school there were all the people who were friends, throwing snowballs at each other and laughing and smiling and they wern't alone. and then there was me, shuffling my feet through the snow, head down, alone and lonely, wishing you were there, wishing someone i cared about was there, so that i wouldn't feel so shitty.
i wish i could've stayed in france. i would've learned the language and become fluent, and i could've been friends with people. although many of them didn't seem very interesting. but i wish i was someplace else. i wish i was somewhere where i couldn't get attached. i hate myself for being so, i don't know, attached easily.
i wish i wasn't so fussy about who i met. i could fit in just fine with the big, loud, groups of people. but i don't want to, because they're big and loud and wouldn't care anyway. they like shitty music and read shitty magazines and don't talk about anything interesting. and i'm not into that. i wish that there were more people i could relate to.
i know i sound like every other stupid teenager in the world, but i think that even non-teenagers can be like this. even when i was little i felt isolated. i don't know why. back then i was really genaric, i liked shitty music and read shitty magazines and didn't talk about anything interesting. and i know that when i get older i'll feel isolated, because i'm stupid and fussy.
maybe one day i'll meet someone, and we could be friends. it goes back to that entry in april or so, when i talked about waking up, and both of us were lonely, but one day we would meet and it would be perfect. we would see each other and say "there's my missing piece. we will be deeper than love, deeper than friendship. we will be trust."
and then we would fall into each others hearts.
posted by Sarah at 3:18 PM
1 Comments:
Girl, you have no idea how cool you are. Trust me, in a few years (or even months), some of the people who are currently listening to shitty music will get to know themselves a little bit better and, in the process, discover cooler music and begin to think and talk about more interesting things. Or they won't but you'll meet others who will. (It takes time for free thinkers to find each other.) Either way, you'll have more company. You're just a little ahead of the game, that's all.
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