ever since i've gone to scool, i've been the one that they called crazy. i don't know why. maybe i am a little bit out of my mind, what with my big dreams, and my words, and my actions. but i don't think i'm crazy, i just think i'm in love. i don't know what with. for awhile there was a boy, but i think i've maybe moved on from that. but i've always been in love.
and ever since they've called me crazy, i've wanted to prove to them that i am a capable, smart, thinking person. even if i am crazy! most people are anyway. it's not that abnormal.
i wanted to write a song, a beautiful song, one that would get me on the big stages, the big money, and they would hear it on their top 40 radio, and say "i knew her. she was fucking crazy. look at her now! i never knew she had it in her."
i wanted to be an actress. i wanted to win an oscar, and wear a cheap, beautiful vintage dress to the ceremony. the movie would be incredible, and i would be perfect at the role. and they would see me on their TV screens, and in their tabloid magazines, and say "i knew her. she was fucking crazy. but look at her now! i never knew she had it in her."
i wanted to write an incredible novel. it would be deep and true and all the language arts teachers in high school and college would require their students to read and analyze it for deeper meaning. but i would laugh at them, because everything there was to say was on the surface already. and they would see my book on the feature stands at barnes and noble, and say "i knew her. she was fucking crazy. but look at her now! i never knew she had it in her."
i still want to do all those things, but on a much smaller 'material benefit' scale. i want to make music and write books and screenplays and direct, i want to act (but not in my own movies)...but i don't want money or fame or any of that. i don't care about what all those kids in their big group of friends think.
i just want to change someone's life.
and i wouldn't call that crazy.
and ever since they've called me crazy, i've wanted to prove to them that i am a capable, smart, thinking person. even if i am crazy! most people are anyway. it's not that abnormal.
i wanted to write a song, a beautiful song, one that would get me on the big stages, the big money, and they would hear it on their top 40 radio, and say "i knew her. she was fucking crazy. look at her now! i never knew she had it in her."
i wanted to be an actress. i wanted to win an oscar, and wear a cheap, beautiful vintage dress to the ceremony. the movie would be incredible, and i would be perfect at the role. and they would see me on their TV screens, and in their tabloid magazines, and say "i knew her. she was fucking crazy. but look at her now! i never knew she had it in her."
i wanted to write an incredible novel. it would be deep and true and all the language arts teachers in high school and college would require their students to read and analyze it for deeper meaning. but i would laugh at them, because everything there was to say was on the surface already. and they would see my book on the feature stands at barnes and noble, and say "i knew her. she was fucking crazy. but look at her now! i never knew she had it in her."
i still want to do all those things, but on a much smaller 'material benefit' scale. i want to make music and write books and screenplays and direct, i want to act (but not in my own movies)...but i don't want money or fame or any of that. i don't care about what all those kids in their big group of friends think.
i just want to change someone's life.
and i wouldn't call that crazy.
posted by Sarah at 3:03 PM
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