the light

i got back from camp today. benjamin didn't write to me while i was gone, and i am sad and i miss him. i just want to curl up and die. i got a letter from helene, who was the girl i stayed with when i stayed with a family in france. i got a birthday package from my aunt laura and uncle shaun, it was a leather jacket from the 80's that used to belong to my aunt. i love it. i hope benjamin is safe, i hope he's not hurt or dead and or not in love with me anymore. i'd rather him be safe and break my heart then be hurt or in pain. i wish i could write, i wish i was inspired to take my pictures, to draw, to play my guitar. i wish i was there, i don't want to have to miss him. i don't want to have to miss anyone. i just wish we were together. i want that more than anything right now.