I new something bad was going to happen when I came home and my birthday is in two days and it's the first year she won't be there since 7th grade and I thought we would be friends forever and I'm sorry I'm such a bad friend I know I should have been there for you more I wish you would call me back and let me fix this.

I am crazy.
Can someone tell me how to turn off my brain.

I'm getting sick. My throat hurts like a motherfucker and I'm lightheaded. I should go to bed but I keep having these dreams. I had another one where you were getting with another girl, right in front of me, and I kept on punching you and yelling at you and trying to make you understand what I was feeling and you were immune like in the other dream. The weird thing was when I woke up this morning I cared less than usual. So I guess that thing I've been doing with great concentration every night does some good for a little while.
Tonight I wore Luke's jacket for many hours and it made me feel big and strong and warm, until you came along. Big, strong and warm. It was nice.
Also that song has a knack for making me cry, even when it's being done by a bunch of silly teenagers.

"Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues"

http://smockparty.deviantart.com/art/where-have-you-been-88008256

We must make sure to get everything out of this summer.
I want to go to the zoo.
And the aquarium.
And I want to make ice cream.
And listen to the Mountain Goats when it starts getting super hot.
And play open mics.
And have sleepovers.
And watch many movies.
And go for long runs.
And not be sad!