you don't write

5 days have gone by and i'm all alone without your words. where have you gone? i want to know that you're still alive. you are what i've pinned my hopes on. i keep your photograph hung by bed so that when i wake up i see you. and i carry you around with me all day, you're sitting in the back of my memory. when i look back and i see my life without you, it's something strange and unreal. you spoke to me and although i did not know it yet, my life had changed. and hear i am, almost two months later, and i am in love with you. but you've dissapeared. i know i'm freaking out to much, but i can't help it. you are a part of my reason to live and when that goes, where am i?

a little girl and her mum dancing in a drum circle at folk life 

you see this guy everywhere in seattle 

there were these guys dressed as women who would stand on stilts and dance 

it was hot out, so people would hang in the fountain. 

drum circle people at folk life 

drum circle people at folklife 

drum circle people at folk life 

drum circle people at folklife 

this guy, and his guitarist friend, would sing you a song about anything you wanted. i asked him to sing me a song about me and benjamin my french boy. it was aobutus running through a field holding hands, and how he was cool cuz he was french, and the sun was smiling and our hair was glistening. then he sang, for luna, a song aobut how all the little children needed to wear sunscreen so that they wouldn't get skin cancer. 

catgirl at the folklife festival 

catgirl at the folklife festival 

benjamin!

i love him so much. he is amazing. everyday he sends me a new email and every email is sweet and blissful. i've liked a lot of boys, but never have i loved any of them. even thought he is very, very far away, i don't care because he is with me all the time. and there will come a day when we will see each other again, and when that day comes we will kiss and cry and never be apart for that long again.

lauren getting the ball she couldn't quite catch 

luna getting the ball she couldn't catch while playing foursquare 

lauren, luna, and emily lying on the grass at laurens birthday 

lauren during dinner at her bithday 

lauren and luna playing foursquare on laurens birthday 

lauren and luna playing foursquare on laurens birthday 

lauren and luna playing foursquare at laurens birthday party 

i just want to feel your pulse again

i feel so crazy. crazy happy. crazy good. my world floats. my world floats on his words and my pictures and my guitar. it feels as if my heart is brusting all the time, bursting in a flurry of butterflies and fireworks. he took my hand and led me down a path of perfectness. so what if he lives halfway around the world from me?

a man fishing on the puget sound 

my friend chris playing his guitar 

kids at a playground 

kids at a playground 

let men burn stars

you are there.

my eyes are closed and i am sitting cross legged at the desk watching you in my mind. last night in my dream i was an olympic track runner and i won all my races. you were there.

in my mind are mesmorized images twisting and not in proportion. and inbetween clouds of smoke i cought bits of you. you were there.

i miss you and i am whole.

"you have been pushing your heart pretty fast"